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Let It Write Itself...
lovedRight... right... write... write....
I feel like painting a picture of yellow smiley faces around our names with x's and o's... forever and always and even I love you's. I can't seem to stop the dimple on my cheeks from appearing. Yes I am happy. Happy... beyond that I'm sure. ....
Hope... Faith... maybe even God has been listening to my painful sobs of unhappiness... and to stop this emotion sent me my very own angel. Trenton..... T.K.
June 26th 2008.....
Although it hasn't been very long, I've fallen for a man that loves me in return, something I've been longing for so long it seems like a dream. I spent my very first day with him today and we hit it off like when peanut butter met jelly. He drives me wild in this wonder bread world.
Unexpected love is the best love in the world. This I cannot deny. I'm lost in the clouds of a pretty blue sky… wishing and praying that it'll never rain.
I love that he can see me for who I am and what I've been through, truly one of a kind. Today I caught myself looking at him while he took pictures of me… uninterested in the picture but more into him… I stared. Looking to see he's game. I've dated many people who all had their own idea of a relationship. Even though I kept looking, I didn't see anything that should or would keep me from letting my guard down. So I allowed myself to be me for a change. Yet still shy I opened up more then I ever really do and with this he seemed to take my hand and lead me out of the darkness and into his arms. Arms that took hold of my heart and sealed all the open wounds with super glue… instead of Band-Aids.
I hope this is real. When I got home after spending some time with him I fell asleep and dreamt a nightmare that ended in smiles.
The Dream (simplified): My new found love and I were out on a date just being us when spotlights came on and blinded me. I heard people clapping as if applauding something… the lights began to dim and I looked at him. Then the man who I had been on the date with wasn't the man in front of me. People started coming out with cameras and wires. I asked what was going on and I was told a reality show. My heart crushed and tears began to run down my face. Do you know the pain you get in your stomach when you feel so overwhelmed? Well that's what came over me. The imposter looked at me as if ashamed of himself. Still crying I began to walk off away from everything and everyone. The imposter ran after me. I could only ask why would anyone do such a thing and he explained to me that my true love was real. Confused? Yes I was as well. Then up and appeared my real love ....Trenton..... I hugged him like there was no tomorrow and I woke up. What a dream was all I could think.
Tomorrow I will spend another day with my other half and just knowing that is all I need to keep me going.
*A.K.* loves *T.K.*
